My TTC Journey – Miscarriage

Last 2 weeks was a hard time for me. I had 2 day surgeries in a span of 10 days ! So i was on hiatus and stopped my updates. Even my instagram also very quiet.

On 4th April , i had my uterine polypectomy surgery to remove a 14mm polyp. 2 yrs back it was 3mm and then it tripled the size ! The cramp and pain after the GA wore off was terrible. So painful and i woke up with the pee pad under me filled with blood. I had the day surgery done the day after my period ended and after the surgery , i bleed for about another 5 to 6 days (reduced to spotting on the 5th day). So i bled for 2 weeks non stop then i went for endoscopy right after i recovered. I called my colorectal doctor because i had blood in stool and he booked me for endoscopy 2 days later.

On 17th April i had endoscopy done to check my stomach and colon..This one long story. Will share in another post.

Oh well back to my TTC Journey!

After 1.7 months of trying , finally we got a positive.

So in August 2018…just before my client appt , i did a pregnancy test in Plaza Singapura’s toilet because i just have a strong intuition and my body was reacting abit differently. I have this “electric” tingling feeling in my tummy which i cannot explain. It felt like a mini vibration and a little cramp. And i missed my period. My boobs started to hurt the day i missed my period. Usually my PMS symptoms come about a week before my period starts. But that time there was nothing. The symptoms came after the missed period. I thought maybe i ovulated late or what but the feeling was very different.
Also i had a lot of rashes and bumps ON MY FACE ! I thought i was going through another round of puberty. They were not pimples but just bumps ! So i went to buy dermasone steriod cream from guardian to apply.

Well i did the pregnancy test in the public toilet and the double line showed up IMMEDIATELY ! very fast.

I was damn stunned and my legs went jelly i was sitting on the floor beside the toilet bowl. Heng ah the toilet there quite clean lol. I was texting my friend something else and i was so stunned that i sent her a picture of the test kit. She told me it was positive !

The positive sign was faint but it was a  “+” sign on the kit.

Watsons was having sales that time so i bought a whole lot of pregnancy kits back home. I tested next day and the lines got darker and darker each day and the digital one says “PREGNANT”. Still not convinced ( Cos we tried for very long mah !) , i went to my friend’s clinic to do the HCG Blood test. He is the doctor and he instructed the lab to give the result in 1 hr. So i got the answer in an hr and a call from him to inform me that IM PREGNANT !  I called my gynae and she instructed me to see her 2 weeks later.

Symptoms i had : VERY sore boobs , constant hunger, bumps/rashes all over my face and abit on tummy, missed periods, slight cramps, frequent urination.

 

I took alot of pictures of the kit but recently about 2 months back i deleted everything. When i felt that i can talk about it openly , then i deleted it away.

You know , being in the insurance industry and having clients and friends around me going through miscarriages , i was afraid that i will experience the same thing so i actually went to do HCG bloodwork every 2-3 days to make sure my hcg goes up and doubled.

Then one day (just 2 days before gynae appt) i had very very bad cramps and i took the pregnancy test kit again incase something went wrong. The lines became lighter! I was afraid and shocked.

I went to the toilet to pee and suddenly a “glob” of thing dropped into the toilet bowl. It was a thick gluey discharge-like thing and i was experiencing very very bad cramps!

Then at the gynae appt , i took the pregnancy urine test and it came out positive. Ultrasounds and scans showed an expanded uterus. But she say i will miscarriage soon cos my HCG dropped.  I was told to have natural miscarriage and was prescribed antibiotics.

Hubs and i were very disappointed and i was upset. Half of me was expecting it because i dont feel right. My boobs were becoming less sore.

True enough , the miscarriage came in 2 days.

I was not expecting it to be so fast. So i went to Eu Yan Sang to buy red dates , dried longans and other herbal stuff to bu my body and recuperate with all these healthy and herbal food. Then on the way home just 10mins walk away from home after my shopping, i started bleeding and it is damn freaking painful. The cramps was so intense and painful. So pain that i felt like someone was breaking my back into half. I cannot walk and i  was sweating in pain.I was wearing leggings and can feel abit wet even on my thighs. My house was infront of me (just 5 mins walk away) but i felt like calling grab to send me home. The most torturous walk of my life. Once i reached the lift lobby i remember collapsing on the floor and waiting for the lift. Once i reached home, i just lied down on the bed and bled on the bed. It was very painful. Gynae said it was because my uterus was contracting back to its pre-pregnancy size. It was expanded when pregnant.

So painful that i cannot move to wear pads or wash myself up. Only about an hr later , i went to toilet to wash up and threw away my bed sheets and mattress protector. I think no hope already. After washing will leave a big patch of reddish brown stain.

Bleeding took about 10 days to end and clear. First few days were clotty bleeding. Then it became spotting from the 7th day onwards

And you know the worst thing i heard during this difficult time was “It is just a seed size embryo, not a human form yet so don’t be sad”. -_-

So pls, if you have friends going through this , please dont ever mention something like that. Seed size or not still someone’s precious. Best is to just be a listening ear.

The feeling was very sad…

My sis-in-law gave birth on the day i found out i was pregnant. She hired a confinement lady to cook for her. Guess what..we were both eating the same thing same dishes..just that she ate to bu her body cos she just gave birth but i was eating to bu my body cos of a miscarriage at the same time. My mum asked the confinement auntie to cook 2 portions and my bro delivered them to me since he stay nearby and i have to be on bed rest.

Reason for the miscarriage could be because i took the chicken pox vaccine 2 months before and i was supposed to abstain from unprotected sex or could be the pregnancy was just deemed unviable.

We actually had check ups done and was told i was not vaccinated from chicken pox so was advised to take it before i go for IUI . So i took the 2 jabs 6 weeks apart . For 6 weeks after the last jab, we cannot have unprotected sex because it is a live virus vaccine and can caused deformity in fetuses.

I remembered that time i told hubs to be careful but he said “Aiya we tried so long dont have…you think this time we do then so lucky can get pregnant meh”. I also think lah quite true. 

Then who knows we tio already this time when we least expected it ! And we were just 2 days before the end of the 6weeks ban from unprotected sex cos of the chicken pox vaccination.

As im typing this , i recalled the feeling i had that time when i saw the positive sign on the kit. I no longer think about the MC process. Last time when i thought about it , i will feel emotional..and it took me quite long about 8 months to open up and share here. Before that only good friends know about it.

 

 

 

My TTC Journey – Fertility Check Ups

This post has been in draft mode for about 8 months or so ?
And there are editings done , deleted etc for the past 8 months.

I think my mind is positive enough now to share. The first draft was filled with couple of anger, negativity and emotions. And i am not really ready to share. TTC is a long and tough journey and people already face enough negativity and disappointment enough and i should not… you know…..aggravates people’s emotions further.

Through this TTC journey , i have made alot of new friends and there are people whom i don’t know (insta and dayre) actually msged me or dropped me an email to share with me their journey and tips. And i think i should share and give back.

TTC is a sensitive topic and not many people shared it openly online and it is hard to find information on stuff like IUI or IVF. Well , i have not gone through IVF yet..but it is one of the next step we are going to.

MY TTC JOURNEY

What is TTC ? It stands for Trying to Conceive. 

When you start joining groups , dayre etc , you will slowly learn and pick up those abbreviations like BFP , BFN , BD , TTC , IUI , SOIUI , TTC etc

We started in Jan 2017. I was 31yo and hubs was 33yo then. Which was about 4 months after our wedding in Korea and Singapore in 2016. Before that , my hubs always thought that getting pregnant is EASY. Ya..like you know remove the protection and boom you pregnant liao. Maybe friends around him got pregnant easily so he thinks it is that easy. But i myself know that it will not be an easy journey until you started trying. You won’t know you will face difficulty or not until you try.

So for 8 months we tried and there are NO BFP.
What is BFP ? It stands for Big Fat Positive. Ehh im not the one who came out with this thing..i also learnt it from the internet one hor.

So we decided to go for fertility check. I have my pap smear, HPV testing , cervical scans done yearly and there is no issue but i want to do a fertility check just incase.

So we had our checks done. I had my hormone levels checked everything is ok. And then i have my scans done by my fertility doctor. And that’s when he told me i have MILD PCOS. My hubs had his Semen Analysis Test done and everything was ok and fine. Total spent including doctor consultations , scans and all the tests required ~ $1000.

Infact i suspected i might have PCOS because i suddenly gained alot of weight in 2017. I hit my peak at 58kg from 50kg. All within 2 to 3 months. And i dropped alot of hair. It is scary to comb my hair everytime because the moment i brush my hair or run my hair through my fingers , i have alot of strands coming off. And also that time i felt very tired easily. I am a financial adviser aka insurance agent. So i run to and fro for appointments. I don’t drive ( no license lah!) so i took public transport and i fell asleep very easily while commuting. I thought maybe i worked too late or too hard liao so tired..but no leh..even on my off days i also felt VERY tired easily.

What is PCOS ? 

It stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

It is a common diagnosis esp for women who have irregular period or heavy bleeding periods. It can be diagnosed through pelvic scanning or blood tests . Some did blood tests to check on their AMH levels (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) which looks into their ovarian reserves. Extremely high AMH levels could be a sign of PCOS.

Explanation grabbed from an article :

“It is a condition where the ovaries are enlarged with multiple small cysts in them and/or there is an excess of male hormones in the body. Most of the time, the affected women will have problems with ovulation,”

……

So…my PCOS is mild one because i still can have about 8 or 9 periods in a year instead of the normal 28 days cycle where you should have 12 in a year. Serious Pcos patients may have period once every 3 months or more. So my period days are between 30 to 46 days. YES, the worst and longest it can get is 46days. So maybe 2 to 3 times a year i have a 46 days cycle.

To treat and control my pcos since im trying for a baby , i am now taking 2 tabs of Metformin a day. It has been almost 1.5yrs since i started taking Metformin. It helps to regulate my period.

This is the same medication for some diabetic patients too since women with PCOS have higher level of insulin and insulin resistance. I was also given supplement called Revosit to improve my egg quality.

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And i also changed my diet. I ate less sweet stuff and exercise to keep my weight healthy. Any increase in weight can bring back the PCOS.

My PCOS was diagnosd by my doc through ultrasound. Infact besides PCOS , we have no issue at all medically. PCOS women can get pregnant but may just take longer time or harder because it is hard to catch the exact ovulation date with irregular periods.

So what i do is that i track my ovulation using the ovulation test kits. I bought the strips ones and paste them on an A4 paper with the date and time taken. Once the lines got darker , i know that i maybe ovulating soon.

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A positive OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) should show 2 bold lines. I took this one to bring to the doctor because apparently i thought i ovulated before my IUI procedure!

Yes…so that was our TTC journey since Jan 2017 till our fertility check in Aug 2017.

I also had my HSG test done in Jan 2018 to checked if my fallopian tubes are blocked.

What is HSG ? 

“Hysterosalpingography, or HSG, is an X-ray test to outline the internal shape of the uterus and show whether the fallopian tubes are blocked. In HSG, a thin tube is threaded through the vagina and cervix. A substance known as contrast material is injected into the uterus.”

My report below stated clear and patent tubes which means my fallopian tubes are not blocked.

Screen Shot 2019-03-30 at 6.32.24 pm

So everything was okay lor. The HSG test was painful for me. Wah…when the dye went in i felt the CRAMPS. The cramps was so bad i felt the ache even after it ended. Some people told me no pain , some told me painful and some says so so. But for mine was painful esp when the radiologist told me to tilt my buttock to the left and then to the right abit so the dye can spill to the left and right i guess..i can feel the ache. Then she told me everything seems normal and fine. The test cost about $270 and it lasted about 10 to 15 minutes. No GA or LA done. You just go in awake , change into the gown , lie down on the cold metal table and they start.

So from Jan to July, i had my daily dose of Metformin and Revosit.

1 pack of Metformin – $10 ~

1 box of Revosit – $50~

So monthly i will go back to top up and buy my monthly dosage from the clinic. Sigh..bo bian what to do if i want to have a baby.

Then..a miracle happened in JULY…but it did not end well….

 

** To be continued to part 2**

2nd IUI

Just did the So-iui on 12th March. Now officially on two weeks wait.

Failed the first iui and in midst of 2nd one.

Hopefully this is our last one before we move on to IVF.

Korean Beansprout Soup and Side Dish Recipe

This beansprout soup can be eaten hot or cold (by keeping it in the fridge). But i prefer to eat it warm though.

Good to drink after hangover or rounds of drinks. When hubs have drinking sessions with his Korean friends or dinner with them (cfm have alcohol esp soju), i will prep this soup for him. They drink it when they have hangover and it is supposed to help to clear the hangover.

Superrr easy to cook! 10mins done.

Korean style Beans prouts Soup

Ingredients

-chopped green chilli and red chilli

-chopped scallons

-soy sprouts (not the normal bean sprouts! Must be those big headed ones and stated Soy Sprouts on the package. You must take note when you buy .You can buy from ntuc Sakura brand or seoul butchery or k&j butchery where they sell some Korean fresh produce)

Ingredients for soup base:

-Anchovies

-Kelps

-Korean fish/anchovies sauce

Boil water and throw in 10pcs of large anchovies and 2 big pcs of dried kelps. Boil and simmer to low hit. Once the “fragrance” is out, off fire and throw away the anchovies and kelps. Keep the soup stock.

In the soup stock, add in the large soya sprouts. Put the lid over the pot or pan. Wait for it to boil for 5mins.

Open lid and add in chopped green chilli , chopped scallions and chopped red chilli.

Add a tablespoon of fish sauce and salt. Let it simmer in low heat for another 5 to 8 mins and it is ready to be served!

Korean Bean sprouts side dish

Ingredients:

-soy bean sprouts (same as the one for soup)

-sesame seeds

Seasoning:

-1 table spoon korean fish sauce

-a pinch of salt

– 1 teaspoon korean sesame oil

-1 table spoon korean chilli flakes

So basically you need to boil the soy sprouts and then add all the seasoning stated above into a mixing bowl with the cooked sprouts and mix well! And it is ready to serve or kept in a tupperware for up to at least a week in the fridge.

Very addictive esp eaten when it is cold.

Very easy! 10mins chop chop done!

I love this side dish so much so i learnt from my mil how to make it.

Saturday Date

Hubs photography skills improved.
Told him dont make me look chubs in photo and his reply was “if you are i also cannot help you” lol. 要死 😂😂😂

Mister asked me to take photo of him today cos he said he looks good and dressed up. Usually he just wear the same old uniqlo shirt $7.90 one i got for him and the h&m lounge shorts to his chinese class lol. 😍 He is frugal so usually i do the shopping for him . Like if this pants spoil or what i will get him new one.

I like this knitted top. Have been exercising well these days and finally have the confidence to wear crop top hehe. I signed up for Yoga+Meditation classes and started my first class since Mid Jan. I think it helps me to relax alot and i can sleep very well these days.

THe meditation instructor will spray some essential oil or mist on my face and pump some essential oil on my palm and rub on my pulse points. I felt really relax and feels like im in a spa.

So from my friend’s recommendations, i went to Neal’s Yard Remedies boutique at Taka and got this roll on essential oil ($26).

I like the rose facial moisturiser too. Smells so good and moisturising leh.

Never buy the facial moisturiser though cos im still using existing one.

Im so into aromatherpy stuff these days. Those essential oils and scents help me to sleep well these days and i felt relax and more energised.

But they dont come cheap…..

Hello 2019!

Wah just login here and realized that it has been 2 months since my last updates.

Nov and Dec were busy months. Clearing up all outstanding work before end of year and also i had my IUI done in November.

And also i find myself coming back to social media (dayre and wordpress) to express my thoughts these days. Esp when im travelling from one point to another for client appointment.

I always say that i have to share but i really do. Just that i prefer to have 1 full quiet day to sit down, have a coffee and cake to pen down my thoughts properly. But i am not able to find such times last year often except the 2 weeks after my Korea trip lol. Well tomorrow afternoon i have a 5hr break inbetween.Time to find a good place in town to chill and pen my thoughts.

Also , many asked me to share on my iui procedure. Yes .. i have drafted but there are some really personal thoughts which i am hesitating if i should share out openly. And also i really want to thank many of you who shared their iui journey with me too. It makes me feel more assured and also know what to expect and what not to.

Now..just waiting to go for my next iui which will be SO-IUI. Waiting for period to come and start this whole tiring cycle again but i think this upcoming one will be more challenging.

Reviews – Mediheal , Briskin , Neogen

My masks review from Olive Young !

Im back for a month already and started using my new skincare products since i was back.

Starting from the easy one first…because i have issues loading pics of other products on my wordpress through the app. All the pictures are on my phone. I have to add the pics through the app and save and draft before i can blog on computer. Blogging through the app is very mafan.

I bought 5 types of masks these time but all from 2 brands.

Mediheal and Briskin.
I got some of Pearl Light one from Mediheal site because i don’t see it in Olive Young.

Basically i have used the Collagen and Charcoal masks before and i really like it esp the Charcoal one because i find my skin brightens up and moisturised after using it. Very happy cos i got them at good deal during Korea Sale Fiesta for KRW 1,000 each for the collagen and charcoal ones.

Got 1 box each for these 3 – Collagen , Charcoal and Pearl Light

This is the first time i use Pearl Light one and i like it too !
Find my skin more radiant after using it. It is for radiance and firming.

But i find them too perfumed. Will be better if it is not too scented lah. But so long got effect, make my skin swee swee i LIKE !

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Next is Briskin ! I got the one in Raspberry pink and Light pink package. Saw celebs using it so i also follow buy lor ! But before i did, i try 2 pieces and i like it alot. Very moisturising and i like how it sticks to my skin so nicely (That’s why it is called 2nd skin). It is very very fragile and thin like membrance so it won’t form “bubbles” when you put on your face.

Raspberry one is for RADIANCE.

http://www.oliveyoung.co.kr/store/search/getSearchMain.do?query=%EB%B8%8C%EB%A6%AC%EC%8A%A4%ED%82%A8

Light Pink one is for HYDRATION.

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Wearing it can be very mafan if you are new to such masks and you can tear it too if you don’t know how to use but there are tricks to use.

The mask is in between 2 gauzes. So you need to peel one gauze first and place on your face..position well and then you peel the 2nd outer gauze. Now adjusting the mask is very mafan because if you are not careful and pull too hard , it will tear. So the trick is to use your finger tips to “PUSH” the mask up , down , left or right. Do NOT Pull !

 

Briskin is pricey but i like it ! I got it on sale so quite okay.
I also got peel pads from NEOGEN. Very heng…i saw them selling KRW 14,000 during sales and i immediately get liao. Because they are KRW 22,000 before discount.

I use 2 pads twice a week. Because they are quite mild , i exfoliate twice a week. Those abit stronger exfoliator i will use once a week. My favourite is the WINE one (purple).

I alternate between the Wine and Green Tea one each time.

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It comes in glove like pads where you can put 3 fingers in and use it to exfoliate your face in circular motions. After using it for a month , i find my skin more smooth after using them and also more clear. Can notice the difference especially after exfoliating and cleansing. Make up application is also more smooth.

http://www.oliveyoung.co.kr/store/goods/getGoodsDetail.do?goodsNo=A000000104387&dispCatNo=1000001000100060001

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Range of peeling pads or gels available in Olive Young :

http://www.oliveyoung.co.kr/store/search/getSearchMain.do?query=%ED%95%84%EB%A7%81

I wanted to get the Nightingale one but after much thoughts , i decided to go for NEOGEN.

If you were to ask me ,