Last 2 weeks was a hard time for me. I had 2 day surgeries in a span of 10 days ! So i was on hiatus and stopped my updates. Even my instagram also very quiet.

On 4th April , i had my uterine polypectomy surgery to remove a 14mm polyp. 2 yrs back it was 3mm and then it tripled the size ! The cramp and pain after the GA wore off was terrible. So painful and i woke up with the pee pad under me filled with blood. I had the day surgery done the day after my period ended and after the surgery , i bleed for about another 5 to 6 days (reduced to spotting on the 5th day). So i bled for 2 weeks non stop then i went for endoscopy right after i recovered. I called my colorectal doctor because i had blood in stool and he booked me for endoscopy 2 days later.

On 17th April i had endoscopy done to check my stomach and colon..This one long story. Will share in another post.

Oh well back to my TTC Journey!

After 1.7 months of trying , finally we got a positive.

So in August 2018…just before my client appt , i did a pregnancy test in Plaza Singapura’s toilet because i just have a strong intuition and my body was reacting abit differently. I have this “electric” tingling feeling in my tummy which i cannot explain. It felt like a mini vibration and a little cramp. And i missed my period. My boobs started to hurt the day i missed my period. Usually my PMS symptoms come about a week before my period starts. But that time there was nothing. The symptoms came after the missed period. I thought maybe i ovulated late or what but the feeling was very different.
Also i had a lot of rashes and bumps ON MY FACE ! I thought i was going through another round of puberty. They were not pimples but just bumps ! So i went to buy dermasone steriod cream from guardian to apply.

Well i did the pregnancy test in the public toilet and the double line showed up IMMEDIATELY ! very fast.

I was damn stunned and my legs went jelly i was sitting on the floor beside the toilet bowl. Heng ah the toilet there quite clean lol. I was texting my friend something else and i was so stunned that i sent her a picture of the test kit. She told me it was positive !

The positive sign was faint but it was a  “+” sign on the kit.

Watsons was having sales that time so i bought a whole lot of pregnancy kits back home. I tested next day and the lines got darker and darker each day and the digital one says “PREGNANT”. Still not convinced ( Cos we tried for very long mah !) , i went to my friend’s clinic to do the HCG Blood test. He is the doctor and he instructed the lab to give the result in 1 hr. So i got the answer in an hr and a call from him to inform me that IM PREGNANT !  I called my gynae and she instructed me to see her 2 weeks later.

Symptoms i had : VERY sore boobs , constant hunger, bumps/rashes all over my face and abit on tummy, missed periods, slight cramps, frequent urination.

 

I took alot of pictures of the kit but recently about 2 months back i deleted everything. When i felt that i can talk about it openly , then i deleted it away.

You know , being in the insurance industry and having clients and friends around me going through miscarriages , i was afraid that i will experience the same thing so i actually went to do HCG bloodwork every 2-3 days to make sure my hcg goes up and doubled.

Then one day (just 2 days before gynae appt) i had very very bad cramps and i took the pregnancy test kit again incase something went wrong. The lines became lighter! I was afraid and shocked.

I went to the toilet to pee and suddenly a “glob” of thing dropped into the toilet bowl. It was a thick gluey discharge-like thing and i was experiencing very very bad cramps!

Then at the gynae appt , i took the pregnancy urine test and it came out positive. Ultrasounds and scans showed an expanded uterus. But she say i will miscarriage soon cos my HCG dropped.  I was told to have natural miscarriage and was prescribed antibiotics.

Hubs and i were very disappointed and i was upset. Half of me was expecting it because i dont feel right. My boobs were becoming less sore.

True enough , the miscarriage came in 2 days.

I was not expecting it to be so fast. So i went to Eu Yan Sang to buy red dates , dried longans and other herbal stuff to bu my body and recuperate with all these healthy and herbal food. Then on the way home just 10mins walk away from home after my shopping, i started bleeding and it is damn freaking painful. The cramps was so intense and painful. So pain that i felt like someone was breaking my back into half. I cannot walk and i  was sweating in pain.I was wearing leggings and can feel abit wet even on my thighs. My house was infront of me (just 5 mins walk away) but i felt like calling grab to send me home. The most torturous walk of my life. Once i reached the lift lobby i remember collapsing on the floor and waiting for the lift. Once i reached home, i just lied down on the bed and bled on the bed. It was very painful. Gynae said it was because my uterus was contracting back to its pre-pregnancy size. It was expanded when pregnant.

So painful that i cannot move to wear pads or wash myself up. Only about an hr later , i went to toilet to wash up and threw away my bed sheets and mattress protector. I think no hope already. After washing will leave a big patch of reddish brown stain.

Bleeding took about 10 days to end and clear. First few days were clotty bleeding. Then it became spotting from the 7th day onwards

And you know the worst thing i heard during this difficult time was “It is just a seed size embryo, not a human form yet so don’t be sad”. -_-

So pls, if you have friends going through this , please dont ever mention something like that. Seed size or not still someone’s precious. Best is to just be a listening ear.

The feeling was very sad…

My sis-in-law gave birth on the day i found out i was pregnant. She hired a confinement lady to cook for her. Guess what..we were both eating the same thing same dishes..just that she ate to bu her body cos she just gave birth but i was eating to bu my body cos of a miscarriage at the same time. My mum asked the confinement auntie to cook 2 portions and my bro delivered them to me since he stay nearby and i have to be on bed rest.

Reason for the miscarriage could be because i took the chicken pox vaccine 2 months before and i was supposed to abstain from unprotected sex or could be the pregnancy was just deemed unviable.

We actually had check ups done and was told i was not vaccinated from chicken pox so was advised to take it before i go for IUI . So i took the 2 jabs 6 weeks apart . For 6 weeks after the last jab, we cannot have unprotected sex because it is a live virus vaccine and can caused deformity in fetuses.

I remembered that time i told hubs to be careful but he said “Aiya we tried so long dont have…you think this time we do then so lucky can get pregnant meh”. I also think lah quite true. 

Then who knows we tio already this time when we least expected it ! And we were just 2 days before the end of the 6weeks ban from unprotected sex cos of the chicken pox vaccination.

As im typing this , i recalled the feeling i had that time when i saw the positive sign on the kit. I no longer think about the MC process. Last time when i thought about it , i will feel emotional..and it took me quite long about 8 months to open up and share here. Before that only good friends know about it.